 MEGA PENGUIN
Created by Chris
Crosby and Bobby CrosbyMega Penguin is a two-foot-tall, vigilante
penguin with a mask and a superiority complex. Bob
is his overweight, dim-witted 20-year old human sidekick
that Mega Penguin legally adopted as a child to help him
fight crime. Together they live in a modest home in
Los Angeles, California, just trying to get along. The
cartoon shorts focus mainly on their home life and other
wacky adventures, as opposed to the cliche crime-fighting
humor seen in other superhero satires.
PROPOSED
EPISODES
 "Watching Golf on TV" (Pilot Episode)
Mega Penguin catches Bob in a chatroom on the internet without his
permission (he's terrified that Bob could be stolen and raped via
the internet), so he forces him to watch golf on TV as punishment.
Though this inadvertently leads to a U.N. Building bombing and the
death of thousands, Bob is happy to watch the Special Report news
coverage of it on TV instead of golf.
READ THE FULL SCRIPT
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seconds)
"HIV-Positive
Cat"
MP and Bob take in an anything-but-lovable stray cat who
is revealed to be HIV-positive (allegedly from a blood
transfusion). The cat is naturally bitter due to
his plight, and when MP is unkind to him, he becomes
determined to give our favorite crime-fighting penguin
the HIV virus! How? By drinking out of the same glass,
playing video games with the same joystick, and using the
same toilet. In the end, the cat lives to be over
100 years old, and dances on Mega Penguin's grave in the
far-flung future.
"Artificial
Trout"
There's a trout shortage in Los Angeles! MP becomes so
desperate for the tasty fish, his favorite food in the
whole world, that he begins making his own
"trout" using a variety of household
items. The fake trout tastes surprisingly
delicious, but there's one problem... it causes Mega
Penguin to vomit up blood (and later water) every three
minutes. Will he stop eating his artificial
trout? The answer is no.
"Ladies Love Mega
Penguin"
MP is interviewed on a TV talk show and is charming and
adorable, which makes every human woman in Los Angeles
want to have sex with him. Because he's a penguin without
genitals, he's not interested, and this makes everyone
assume he's gay. His vigilante popularity rating
drops dramatically with males, so he's forced to beat the
crap out of a flamingly homosexual man on live TV to
regain his popularity. Will MP realize how wrong
that is, and decide not to do it at the last
minute? The answer is no.
"Nobody Ever Died in
All of History!"
MP and Bob's neurotic semi-villian, The Time Bandit,
sends them billions of years in the future, where they
find everyone but Santa Claus dead and buried, and an
immortality potion widely available. Deciding they
should end all death in the history of the world, MP and
Bob go back in time and give the potion to everyone who
ever lived in all of history (with the help of the lonely
Santa Claus). When they return to the present, they
discover that the human race has become soulless
cannibals, and Bob is nearly eaten by Mother Teresa and
Benjamin Franklin. To stop this from happening,
they send cannibal Mother Teresa through a time portal to
stop themselves from giving out the potion. They
know it worked when everything turns back to normal
around them, and a giant throbbing Mother Teresa-sized
bite appears on Bob's leg.
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